Marry Me!!

Yesterday was like any other day and I looked myself in the shaving mirror that men on the move or mis-managed guys have. Everything looked perfect, all pimple marks were right in place as if settled permanently like dark spots on the landscape as slums in our cities. Self-appointed boosters of others morale will blame me of discriminating against myself and no social activist would give a damn as nobody takes a short and poor man seriously. OK! Not that poor, yet I can assure you that I do not matter in their scheme of things. Nobody listens to me and every time I have to say something I write posts and blogs which nobody understands. The reason could be because I do not talk to people except when its’ unavoidable or makes for an interesting conversation but that does not count as speaking!

But then I am a guy and its’ OK to have a few marks on faces and yet get arranged married to someone who watches ‘Balika Vadhu’ as long as I had hair over my head. Of course I have hair, only yesterday did I get a haircut and the barber who claims to be a stylist charged me a full fee. Had I not had a healthy bunch of hair why would have the barber claiming to be stylist charge a full fee. So, I have hair. The proof of work ethics was right at the top of my scalp, strands of hair diminishing in number, lifeless and without a stand. Like leaves that are about to fall, only stuck with glue to avoid falling. A little deeper digging into the sparse hairline provided evidence of the R******’s work. In his attempt to be just, he had cut some hair strands (read all that was left) too short that the scalp was visible. It was still OK! There was no reason to freak out even if god had given me departing hairline over pimple marks. The almighty had also given me good hair days when they long, thick and abundant.

This was me, 26, with receding hairline and pimple marks of the kind which ‘No Marks’ can do nothing about. If you thought that god works in mysterious ways, here is the proof of him being mathematical like everybody else in the world. Nobody cares for the meaning; there is a formula for looking at everything. Derivations for every new situation but invariably selfish number who speak only about themselves govern the affairs of the world. God had compensated for all the low marks that I got all my life. The no of marks on my face put together with my average scores in exams would give me enough to have beaten all those lifeless nerds and geeks. I still wonder how they never felt anything, lifelessly solved their arithmetic problems without stopping for anything as there was no time to do that. There were enough problems in all the books put together which they could not humanely solve and a constant guilt was weighing their soul. And it was heavy enough to be seen on their faces.

But something seemed characteristic about this new found hair falling reality that had uncanny sense to it. And then I thought about things in my life. I had a room which I used only when I wanted to clean. Apart from the house, I could call the job mine as I always reported before my peers, juniors, seniors and left after everybody. I virtually lived in office. It is another thing that I did not work all the time. Also, I was coming back home only to sleep and get ready for another day. And how could I not think about the fact that I ate out all the time not because I did not knew how to cook and did not feel like cooking for myself.

The troubling fact file of my life made me seek answers and I logged into FB for deeper introspection. My worst fears were coming true as my friend list had more men than women, in fact women had become an endangered species in my friend list. I had been blocked alike by the girl who mattered and the one who did not. The only sunshine that illuminated the friend list stayed probably because she was having pity on me. May be I was wrong but this is how I would like to think. I had become so irrelevant that girls were even unfriending me by mistake. Something was wrong with me or everything was wrong as I thinking all this at 10AM on 31st January. 10AM, time to go office no matter what day!

The fabulous February was right there and I was thinking about these things. February, the month with the day of love, Valentine’s Day. So what if I had remained single. The first half of February had always filled me with hopes and an equal disappointment for the remaining. But something was not right this time and I wrote about my life’s situation on a piece of paper. It was already burdened with the too many updates that I make and was crying for help. How inconsiderate of it! After all it had managed to put up with all I was to post. Why couldn’t it happily solve something which looked like another opportunity of deriving insight from data. An opportunity to do some Analytics, which everybody claimed to do and some like me made a lot of noise about but never understood what the hell it was!  Anyways I wrote on that piece of paper and put an effort to find where I had written. But then as always I found what I wrote. And my heart sank to see what was written not only on that piece of verbally abused paper but the wall. No, not the facebook wall! I mean the proverbial wall.

I can forget my name but I remember my updates. Almost all of them. Everything started coming back to me, the extra room, the eating out, the extra hours at office all lead to where no guy wants to go. Marriage! But then it was me, a guy whose childhood dream was to marry. While other boys of standard 9 chose funky clothes in the fashion show, I chose to dress like the groom. The receding hairline meant I was the SRK of Kal Ho Naa Ho. Like the protagonist in the movie, my life was figuratively going to be over. OK! I have more years if I start using medication but then life was on a death row.

I gave it a little thought and it made full sense. Marriage made sense! Now when I read what I just wrote, I can’t believe myself. The extra room could be used. It would take almost the same time to cook for two as for one and I would start cooking again. The rest of the problems also started solving themselves and the only one which gave me ‘No Solution’ was the original problem of hair loss. But then a mind messed up with the thoughts of marriage does not think rationally. And thus I headed for the place where marriages are made, the internet, Shaadi.com and Bharat Matrimony. These were highly recommended sources and one of them was endorsed by Chetan Bhagat, writer of the fictions which would sound like your real life.

Thus, I filled the necessary details which promised to bring me closer to meeting the right partner. In the process I came across ‘My Partner Preferences’ and I wrote with all the sincerity and heart I wrote my poetries. Like a teenage romantic who felt that his Partner Preferences would have the appeal which would attract his soul mate and other attractive women from the crowd. I wrote my Marriage Proposal aka My Partner Preference

         

My Partner Preference

‘I am a dead tree who would end up becoming only coal, not even those with high calorific values. I am one ogwho produce more smoke than heat. I look for a woman who would foolishly believe there is diamond inside and push me hard to be a diamond and yet never demand diamonds!

I look for a woman who would complete me. I look for a woman who would be different from the crowd, someone who is not exactly what I seek and yet so me, different enough to make opposites attract. I look for someone who short circuits my brain, from a predominantly left brained Engineering – MBA type to the guy who wants to write and express including a lot of poetries about her.

I look for someone who wins the hearts of my family and makes me love hers as much as I love mine. I look for someone who makes me feel like an innocent kid again, and KiD-ish as it may be, bear the kids of the man who is kid again. Kids who have almost all of her looks and a few of mine. I look for someone who makes my childhood dream of marrying come true and instill the dream of marrying someday in all the kids that attend my marriage ceremony.

I look for someone who not only does make all the girls who rejected me curse their luck but also give them a sense of security that the poor guy finally met someone who ended his search. I look for someone who is so different from all of them yet so much of them. I look for someone whom I want to spend the rest of my life with, settle down yet want to elope with every day. I look for someone who not there but still I look for you.'

But then real life is so different from blog and I saved my feelings for the blog. Someday it will make up a romantic sequence in some book or movie but as far as bride search is concerned I filled the template ‘Hi, this is Kuldip Jayaswal. I am a marketing professional who lives life to the fullest..  hope you would like to know more about me, if you do please leave a message’.

Dude In Distress!!

Foreword

Quirky but true. The two genders, man and women seem to have mutually agreed on a role reversal or at least it stood true for in a recent situation. What happened the other morning only adds credibility to the trick. Its’ not like there is a sudden surge of Roma-women who eve tease a shy guy on a lonely street in the company of like- minded girlfriends.  And neither does appear a Damsel, out of nowhere. Shoulder length hair, perfect figure, confident walk and those glasses that your girl next door would wear. Yes, glasses make them even sexier. That would have happened in a Si-Fi Hollywood movie, the protagonist in this story lives in a Chennai suburb and thus has toned down fantasies, all that he wants is to meet is a dusky beauty. And if that girl lives in your neighborhood and listens to Bomb Figure by Honey Singh, you can’t stop thanking your stars . What makes the role reversal even more attractive is that unlike cliché stories where the hero saves the Damsel single handedly; this neighbor has a roomie as well. While I am not hinting at a ‘Many Is To One’ relationship; the attractive proposition of ‘If-Not-Else’ can’t be denied by any guy. So far so gorgeous but how on earth does a dude fall in distress.

If you thought it all adds up and the blogger (please read Dude) really needs help and a girl happened to have spot that and offered (help) in good faith. Then you are right and wrong. All indicators lead to the Deception Point. I stopped blogging which meant an essential part of every festival as I blogged on almost every occasion. Or it could have been even worse and I had stopped celebrating festivals altogether and was only gloomy all the time. But that is only partly true. I believe in not so successful blogging mantra of ‘Build your blog strength (at least in count) and through open the gates when the readers thought its’ an impossible outcome’. It will become much easier by this analogy. When the menstrual cycle stops it only means that you had enough of unprotected sex which is a matter of great pride. What comes after 9 months is the rekindling of an extinguished fire only a little more ferocious, ready to gulp everything that comes its’ way. To make for your loss, look up the archives what secret desires have I saved all these months. All I can say is that no matter how ugly the babies turn out to be, the pain of laboring/living for them is always tough and these were 9 healthy full sized blogs. ‘Dude in Distress’ might come across as a phenomenal shift from my style of bragging about myself and praising about them(women), but in the end you will find out I stay the same by changing.

‘Dude In Distress’ is a principle which finds application almost everywhere, even in politics.  The year that just went by witnessed true ‘Dude In Distress’ situations where the grand old dude of Indian politics, Congress was trapped in its own plot by AAP. Here goes the story of ‘Dude In Distress’.

The Post

Pre-Historic men got lucky when they had an opportunity to bail out a damsel in distress. This proved to be such a game catcher that even kind natured men secretly started praying for damsels to fall in distressing situations. Everything looked like a possible ‘Damsel In Distress’ situation to a single male and even school boys started praying for rain in clear April skies. Not all of them carried an extra umbrella to help the ‘Damsel In Distress’ even if they forgot some or the other book every day. Some of them only wanted to see her drenched in rain.

Sick as it was to wish for damsels to land in distress, men started scripting their own story by setting up distresses for damsels. The other and more important reason was that god and weather could not have been relied upon. They have an unpredictable nature. Just when you thought that the weather is good and she will come at the party next lane, god would give thundershowers, ensuring that she stays at home. With education and better mobility, man could reach out to more women leading to too many Rams and a critical shortage of Raavans.

The balance of nature was skewed against heroes looking for a heroine. For hero to be hero there needs to be a villain and there were no villains at all. The situation plagued the society to a magnitude that even movies did not have any villain. Reel and real lives woke up to the benefits of a staged distress for the Damsel. All it required was a group of friends you did not have much affinity for. Ask the group to trouble the girl you liked and jump in to save her. While well-built guys preferred a full fighting sequence, some of them even settled for verbal show of strength where your not so good friends always lost. The unsaid clause being that the ‘Act-Like-Goons’ were not to be seen with you for a certain period of time which depended upon how strong you were going with the girl. Also, if she was dumb enough, you could make her believe that yesterday’s bad-boys had a change of heart and want their company to become a better person. It was all like the Kitty parties, guys stuck to their turns to become the saviors. Giving a helping hand to the girl meant not only getting to keep it; the heart came along as well, melted to perfection. The best part was that you did not have to even ask for any of them. Life was good and everything was going fine till some fool spilled the beans to his girlfriend and the word spread as quickly as women are believed to. Within no time the mobile devices and internet had spread the breaking news about the trick to places far and wide. And to this day women look at helping men with added suspicion.

Another factor that led to the decline of the ‘Stage A Distress’ era was its excessive usage. Like excessive use of an idiom/ phrase, ‘Stage A Distress’ became a cliché. Not a cliché of any minor kind, it started threatening the undisputed leadership of interview and resume clichés that we commit.

Nothing was working out; every move of men met the slammed door reaction. It was then that by accident a guy got locked up in the bedroom of his rented house. His phone was in the living room and all his shouting to the landlord brought no response. What he realized that even in his cries for help, his voice still carried the same accent which he consciously generated while in conversation. For a minute he started thinking about how fake our lives have become that we are not even able to seek help in a natural way. But why was he even thinking all this when he knew that two college girls were his neighbors. Girl neighbors, who greet your arrival by putting a curtain, but this was not the time to be think about all that, it was a time to put on the ‘Dude In Distress’ act. And thus he started throwing all he could find on the windowpanes of their bedroom. 4 Spare buttons, 1 sharpener and 2 erasers later, arrived his girl next door. And he told her about the situation and she did the needful.

In the 5 minutes that it took for him to be become free from his own bedroom, the male brain had already calculated the requisite steps to take her on a date. It was the simple ‘Dude In Distress’ scenario where the girl ends up helping the guy out. Once you help someone, most of us start treating them as someone in constant need of our help. And you start offering all you can to ensure their well-being. 

When a girl becomes the savior she becomes vulnerable to self-dismantling her carefully built guard that she lets down for only a few men. All that was required from here on was to greet – be sweet and offer to thank over dinner and there you have your date. The advantage of this kind of date is that the girl dates you without having found out. Not only would she fall head over heels, she wears her 6 inches pointed ones for the occasion and 4 inches if the guy is less than or equal to 5’4”.Did you say it does not qualify as date? But then seldom are the dates real in the western sense of it in India. At least not from where he came from or the girl came from. Her accent meant she could not have been from the region he came from. He could see the girl next door had left the windows open and the curtains rested on the edges. This could have meant an invitation as most single boys would take it or just letting fresh air come in. But then he was done with these games and turned his back towards open windows. May be he would retire very soon or is just taking some time off the ground. He opened the laptop and started typing “Dude In Distress”.

The Science Behind Item Number

It requires Glamor ..err Item Girl to bring the viewers’ to the theaters. Else they would have preferred watching pirated copies at home and posted updates on social media about the ridiculousness of the movie. Item number is generally misunderstood to be only the song with skimpily clad women dancing on a sensuous number. It’s a host of thing if you and includes anything done to show-off/sell rather than delivering the value to the customer.

Item numbers cannot be understood without understanding piracy. Piracy steals away a huge chunk of what any movie can make. The reason behind placing item numbers in a movie is to make it a financial success. A simple analysis of movie watching habits in India would lead to the conclusion that all movies will become box-office hits if piracy was eliminated. This is based on the fact that most of us watch pirated movies.

Piracy is of multiple types ‘Based Upon’ & ‘Inspired’ are among them. While the former is way which expresses gratitude to the original creator, the latter is a legal way to pirate. Its’ a crime only when done at the highest echelons, a regular practice by the masses, justified in the name of being socialist by courts and a skill that can get you employment. Shocked! But its’ a truth the industry would never agree to and job seekers resort to. Original content and thought are increasingly becoming a fad and the pace of duplication with a little editing has become a sure shot method to achieve success.

Creators have learnt to live with little doses of piracy in the name of journalism/media but contest full scale piracy. This has led to the creation of a parasitic species of commentary (read news shows) who make their living by showing bits and pieces (read highlights) of everything available. These shows have their own space in the heart of audience and non-primetime or else what can explain shows like ‘Comedy This Week’. News is increasingly becoming a legitimate way of lifting up content.

Our liking of item numbers is a subconscious event which owes a lot to the mad run of the world which has made everything including entertainment a mode of enhancing knowledge. So when the viewer goes to watch a movie, a part of his brain wants him to collect information and the other part seeks entertainment. It is this part that loves item numbers in between serious storyline. An item number or songs in the movie has nothing to do with the story but provide pure entertainment man has known for centuries. Singing and dancing are the most democratic form of entertainment while cinema is sought after as it is difficult to make and includes almost all forms of entertainment. Another primary reason of cinema being such a great success is that it serves us the life of others in a palatable form.

The liking for cinema is to a great extent due to the fact that survival and success in the human world has always been highly dependent on information about others’ lives. And its’ not humanly possible to do a man-behind the life of others, be with him every moment to see the story for himself. With 7 billion stories unfolding in some part of the world, man cannot decide which story to follow before it starts taking shape. And that is said in a figurative sense, it is not humanely possible. Thus, we prefer an already happened version when the teller knows the story is interesting and the listener wants to hear an interesting story.

The show business as cinema is called, is a very sophisticated business and involves a host of people with skills, equipment and a lot of money. And this is the reason behind cinema ranking so high in the entertainment quotient. These are principles which have been put to practice since but the reason today I am digging/writing this research paper is that Chetan Bhagat has questioned this accepted status quo and reopened the dialogue (even this blog!) or shall I say figurative reading by one of the AAP followers.

If we evaluate the comment without considering the intension and context behind, there is nothing wrong in an item or two to sell the actual movie. As it stands, the film industry is run by a coterie that produces super-human action packed sequences or romances which do not happen in real life. The cast in movies or politicians in Congress come from a few families and there is nothing wrong in it as it worked. As any businessmen, Congress and Film Producers are reducing their exposure to risk as the Indian masses readily accept a change from within the system. This fact makes it even truer that AAP is like an item song of Indian politics. And there is nothing disgraceful about it. Even Priyanka Chopra has endorsed the Darwin’s theory of survival by adapting to item numbers.

In the current political setup, the common man feels devoid of a promising future. Contemporary politics is like clutters of high banners of tall claims of performance at prime spots. Indian politics has touched its’ lowest ebb so much that the entertainment value of some blockbusters is nothing more than the trailer/teaser. 

Item numbers put up a show and sell the otherwise inferior product called movie. Many of do what item numbers do for making a living. It is what Marketing is as a profession. This is what Chetan Bhagat himself did to catch the imagination of the youth of India by writing/proposing simple solutions which were not academically brilliant. The same are being brought to action by AAP. If this is what means to be an item number, then there are a lot of item numbers playing in the nations psyche. I am an Item Song. You can be an item number and set the stage on fire and arouse interest or be caught up in the stigma and await to be a movie no matter successful or not.

The Wingman

The lives we live are not always our own, the dreams that come true sometimes has always a special someone to see them through. They back seat drive our journeys to destinations far and frontiers unknown. They push you hard to achieve what they could not or cannot. Preparing you for the hot seat and knowingly shying away from taking a shot at it. Micro-managing your essentials while you ready yourself for the big day.

Now that the winter is over, Sunny days and Leone wishes should auto erase themselves from the wish kart. Not many are lucky enough to be in a land where you can enjoy the Bright spot. Some of us land in tight spot between bright and blinding and its’ nothing close to the comforting 50 shades of Grey where you can hide without catching anybody’s eye.

Life stands in contrast to the weather and the tight spot that it gives us  moves in perfect sync with the bright spot and is called the Shadow spot. And this shadow spot harbors our biggest ally, the often forgotten Wingman. Forget bright spot, they don’t even see the light of the day.

  

Driving through the maze of options and opportunities is in itself a huge challenge and often people encounter the inability to focus on the target lying in front of them. A constant fear of being attacked from the rear occupies their mind. Given the multi-front battles we fight in our lives, the role of a wingman gains greater importance in our lives. What’s sad is that this shadow species is seen only in the light of the Top-gun it flies with. And it does not end at that, the association with a top-gun mostly ends in likening the Wingman to an Under-dog.

May be the wingman deserves what he gets and nothing more, may be this is why he is the wingman. What we certainly forget to look at and fail to find out is the reason why he chooses to be the wingman while there might be other options. While its’ subjective whether the wingman is flight worthy what needs to be taken in account is that the wingman’s story is that of desire, a desire to be up with the clouds because being a Top-gun is not what it takes. The jets are numbered and ambitions countless.

  

Being the wingman is open to vagaries of taking the first step towards contentment and the sentinel of achievement at the same time. It is these who keep the world going. All of us have one and we are somebody’s, Wingman, the shy strategist who silently plans coups to anoint the princes. And when the change of guard is trouble-freely under control, the Wingman skips out from the coronation ceremony because there are Top-gun aspirant too many and only a few Wingman!!

The Buck Stops With You

The society seems to be suffering with the excess of ‘diplomats’. The word brings different pictures to different minds but there seems to be a universal agreement upon ‘the kind who do not take any position and build upon others’. This parasite-ization of society is only in the interest of a large section of leeches, sadly forming a major part of majority (read society). 

What legitimizes and hopelessly builds hope with this diplomat-ization of otherwise mundane acts of life is the talk of Democratic Dividend. Democratic Dividend is not like ‘Demographic Dividend’, a high decibel term, liberally used to the extent of exploitation in newsrooms and panel discussions. Nor has it become a cliché. Our distinguished experts make a fundamental error in their assumption when they say democratic dividend. The (social) diplomats, exhibit an entirely different characteristic which I would call ‘Multiplication Factor’. It is the ability of stereotypes to group and attract the likes. It goes without saying that the ones who do not conform to this Spartan specification of ‘Stereotypicity’ are considered differently abled, so different that they are of no good use. 

Politics, organizations and specifically political organizations adhere to the geographic of cold and lonely at the top. As far as the organizations is concerned, it would help a lot if the top executives came out of their air conditioned cabins and faced the elements a lot more often. Even nature suggests that life prospers in the warmer climes of tropics where an abundance of life forms and overabundance of human species are found. This abundance makes Darwin’s theory even truer in these regions and a constant fight for survival keeps taking place. It is these facts that call for being diplomatic for staying relevant in our environments. Thus, a majority of us choose to be diplomatically correct rather than be spotted by a search-light on the lookout for the runner (in a different direction) to fast-track them to gallows.

And this is the reason why we observe multiple centers of power in this part of the world (Congress being an exception). This malaise has crept so deep that it guides every walk of our life; from traversing into any unknown direction. The path that it leads us to is the one too much travelled, and there is glaring evidence of it in the form of traffic. The fear of the unknown devil makes most of us travel the whole of our journey called life on this road. The rest, use it at specific points of time. The merry go round on this ring road keeps everyone spellbound, making us forget that this signal free stretch leads us back to square one. And if you thought this one (blog or blogger) is lost, trust me, being lost is the first step to making a discovery or at least being found.

The resulting system has most suitable people staying away from competing for running it and not surprisingly outperform in the limited roles they choose for themselves. Making the leaders look like an imposed one while the fact could most probably be a mediocre individual exhibiting the greatest form of leadership. So while the innocent leader thinks that the ball is in his court and he can play it the way he likes, it’s he who might actually be getting played. What he mistakenly takes for ball might actually be the buck, normal (diplomatic) people love to pass. The buck, which when passed is a hat-trick of sorts in the game of diplomacy.

The order of the day is to remain vigilant and skeptical of each and every trivial event like wishing birthdays. Actions, which were meant to be without any deeper motive are now seen and performed with ritual sincerity. While the diplomatic person bargains peace in the present, he bows seeds for a million conflicts. The mind and heart go on a civil war, while diplomatic people enjoy immunity like the microorganisms in our body on excess exposure to antibiotic.  

The abuse of freedom to decide and practice what interests the individual is one of the biggest roadblocks to the development of community. Even, the world economics stands witness to a shift from Smithian theory and capitalism in its crudest form. The unbalanced model where individuals decide in their own interest and yet contribute to the common cause of society is a flawed one. A defeatist approach would be to dole out a verdict or bring the debate to a diplomatic ending by leaving it open. In its’ journey, the buck stops at each one of us, play it or pass it, but do not ruin the game!! 

Love, War & Marketing !!

Marketing is like proposing love. Love is war & the art of war has moved from painting in vivid strokes to shadow effects. Gone are the days when love happened at first sight. Today you ensure that the customer or cutie recalls you, even if it means crossing her way multiple times on purpose.

In marketing and love you don't leave it to serendipity anymore. Like Hutch your networks should follow them wherever they go and keep you updated so that when you bump into them/her on purpose as if it was a pleasant coincidence and can’t help but think ‘Me and you collide’. Always at the top of her updates, saying what she/they want to listen. Following always and stopping short of being accused/ assumed stalking. Provoking a thought and casually stoking confusion. The advice in marketing as well as love is to not go head-on, it may lead to mutual destruction, rather stay on their mental periphery so that you are there when they want you to be.

Not only should you be at the top of their mind, you should block their view of everything else as much as you can. The banners and hoardings at the distance should become the distance customer or the cutie wants to see.

 Making the other party surrender in the ultimate objective in war, marketing and love alike. But a ring no more makes the lady fall for you or the enemy surrender. As neither surrounding a country is militarily possible nor is it possible to always stay at the top of consumers mind or in front of their eyes. Marketers and militaries are following the cost effective ‘String of Pearls’ theory adopted by the Chinese i.e. to become more digital in their marketing approach. 

Earlier, a touching proposal helped you live happily ever after and if it was not moving enough for that someone, the pursuer moved on. Ditto in marketing. The only change being that now you don't let customer/her go that easily. You find alternate ways of reiterating. What could have earlier been done easily in a date now requires a score of Blog posts, hundreds of updates & if unanswered & if romantic optimistic planning is anything to go by, email campaigns till the recipient blocks your address or directs you to suffer in spam !!

Another key in marketing and love is not to give away too much in proposals so that they come back craving .Create mystery!!

The Romance is Over

Being one of the first duos who leaves college makes an impact on your psyche. Its’ like too many YOUs pleading to stay. The cricket ground, the food joint & the empty roads want you to stay. You see your look alike at all the places doing what you used to do and dressed up as you would do, begging not to go. Each one needs to be persuaded that the time has come, the time we say Goodbye! Make them pack up coz from tomorrow we don't belong here. All of them have to be convinced or else if even one of them is left behind, they would keep haunting others like the spirit of an innocent man who got killed accidently or purposely. And thus you make sure that you have visited all the places before you leave.

The day began with getting up earlier than usual to soak as much of Trichy as you could even if it was the hottest part of the year. A sudden liking for the otherwise boring/bland breakfast develops and you make sure that you don’t miss it on the last day. Like a convict on a death row and also like a young kid going first time to the school, bathed and brushed, you walk in the direction of Mega Mess 1. The Idli on your plate says goodbye, the Chutni has water in its eyes, enough to make it watery. You read the newspaper for the one last time, not only because it fits into the convict on death row mould but also because its’ the only thing you read from cover to cover.

Next on the plate was something which nobody has an appetite for. Packing the whole world into a few bags and failing to do so, establishing the magnanimity of your world which refuses to fit in. Once again you think, why do we have to go but then bags do not pack themselves and you need to carry on. Not to mention, there are some things which will be left behind and carried as a baggage for a lifetime.

Finally the day comes which you had been backward counting for long. There is an ironical phenomenon attached to backward counting days. Not because its’ mathematical and by default the first thing you learnt. Its cricket-ical, and fast bowling at that, like reverse swing of the ball which makes your heart beat fast as you do not know which way it is going to turn out. Whichever way it is and however bad it was, the human psyche always loves inertia and the signs of resistance/ friction show up after a threshold is reached. You know you are going to give up and move, may be move-on as well but the frictional force increases as much as you speed up. This frictional force keeps us grounded, literally and figuratively.

People move out for better or away from worse but nobody can deny that an anxiety is always there about how it is going to be. The insecurity of being an outsider and losing it all in the new system makes us anxious. The reason and opportunity to try and become a better person and the amount of success it would garner occupies and engages the right half of our brain. Its’ ironical how we get so involved in shaping our new identities that we forget an era is coming to an end in reality. In the tug of war between Identity & Reality, Identity wins because it silently calibrates what we should portray ourselves to be and how much acceptance it would get.

   

While we move to become a part of a new arrangement, subconsciously we want everything to be the same, and not the same at the same time a la eating the cake and keeping it too! No matter what we are, the comfort of the notion that ‘I was somebody there’ makes us anxious and skeptical of being a nobody in the new environment even if being ‘somebody’ meant to be uninvited and a gate crasher to happening places. Why do we do this to ourselves or precisely I do it to myself, attaching myself so much that separating feels like imputation. The reason could be from really getting attached or the good-and-nice-act getting into the skin and then the nerves. To clear the smoke by soap-ing it out, the most likely explanation could be ‘The Michael psyche’ (the eternally expressionless and in-your-face character from Prison Break) is universal. First turn yourself in, and then try to break away, Of course with something/ someone. And why won’t it be, the things we want are always locked up. Thus, you have the entrance tests to get into a college, followed by an equally frustrating stay, culminating into the only thing you wanted, Job! . 

What keeps the story running for seasons (and in this case, blog) is that you put hurdles, keep them guessing, may be it will be a happy ending, maybe not. But one thing is sure the story is put to rest and they live happily ever after and nothing interesting happens. The actors go on to become a part of a different story and that is very plausible in reel life. But real life is not in parts and yet it is. Stories are brought to abrupt ending and people are supposed to move on.

With thoughts like these and many unread poetries I travel into the unknown because that life being life, you got to act human. You come; you see and fall in love, and then move on to the unknown with wish of coming back someday and finding everything the way you left.

Of MEM Book & Confessions!!

Ever wondered why we keep our Scrap book so neat, un-hurtful and all in praise of thyself. Ever wondered why our confessions are so bold and frank. The answer lies in the way we evolved and the peculiarities of contemporary times. Its’ universal that at the beginning of the end, we want to look at the journey and celebrate it. Probably, this all-weather practice of humans dates back to the time when seasons began. No matter how unorganized we are, we pack much better and everything looks neat. But you do not want to carry a baggage on your heart and thus do confessions.

We live in an age when things happen too fast and hence the need to document them or else we may lose them to past. Whats’ gone is gone and probably forever and thus even more the reason to alter it for future. Not only should we it for ourselves, hell breaks loose if not done by somebody else. The urge to indulge in this exercise of presentation gains more importance if the person in the mirror is not the most presentable in your opinion.

The Principles of Economics and Hertzberg’s Theory ensure that people stay on their toes and live more than one lives. Youth is something we cherish and the most presentable part of one’s lifetime. Age is something man has not been able to conquer and anything that helps him remain youthful is worshipped and is not to be messed up with. People have started becoming so competitive that they are likely to have killed their twin in the mother’s womb. Darwin supersedes destiny when it comes to influencing our way. Thus we do not trust anyone with the good old practice of writing our obituaries. The philosophy of life being in the moment grants us so many lives that anybody else cannot attach the necessary value and to our obituaries as we would do to ours. And thus we take up the right cause and write our stories, each one of which deserves being comparable to some Bollywood script with full masala. The fact that these stories are real and your calls for adding a little more spice. The holy river of our stories falls in the bay of Facebook and building any check dam or altering the course of its journey is bound to meet stiff resistance. And thus we write all our obituaries except the real one which we cannot.

   The practice of writing scrap books have become an exercise of mutual benefit, i scratch your back you scratch mine. Scratch, but do not leave a mark, after all backs act the gender neutral part of body having moral police’s clearance for exposure. 

   If that is how we handle our MEM book, confessions are no different except that they completely are. Confessions are no more confessions, they are more about others than selves, more about accusing than confessing, more about proposing than accepting. The ancient method of confessing to the Priest and proposing to the girl has changed for the worse. The proposals to the girl have lost their meaning as it comes after great calculation and after having known each other for a considerable amount of time. Thus we have the new concept of confessing to the girl. If that was not demeaning enough, poor ‘confession’ lost its meaning and now does odd jobs of accusation.

   Technology facilitates the exercise of self-appreciation and the laws legitimize their practice. However, it’s a given that Scrap books and Confessions are an act of existence at a particular time and place and so are our practices which are bound to change coz humans being humans love inertia and worship motion.
  

   Its’ this habit which makes us reflect back into our lives, eyes set on the road ahead and rear view mirror at an angle which suits the driver. Not only does it help see who is coming, it also helps us admire what we are leaving behind. And at the highway eatery on the journey called life, we should honestly talk about the journey than the kilometers travelled.