Complimenting .. a la Fast Bowling !!

   It’s been whiling away since long and thus I thought I revive my writing. Writing, my way of paying a tribute to things I love e.g. Cricket and being liked in return, what better can I ask for ?   

   And one of the ways of being liked is Complimenting. Complimenting, the way of praising someone leads to admiration in return not only because it’s the way ‘Complimentee’ pays back. This is how the human mind works, you praise a person and they think good and nice about you. It also helps that in our shy/conservative society, not many come out in the open and compliment, more so if it’s the opposite sex. Stories would be cooked up as fast as in a Roadside Restaurant and thus you camouflage the ones you mean by putting too many of them for too many of them.

  Its interesting how things which exhibit common traits are strikingly similar in this country(more so when you have both on offer and not many takers). Complimenting /Asking Out is very much like fast bowling, an endangered species in this country. The more you like the Batsman/Girl, the more you want to clean bowl them and in this urge & you try bowling from as closer distance as you can and hence likely to over-step. This over-stepping meets with a ‘NO’ to your expectation of ‘Yes, I do !!’ . The changed rules of the game means the batsman gets a as free hit, thereby resulting in one more opportunity to bowl them out and hence a silly yet desirable proposition for the bowler. Shocking as it may sound, free hit is a desirable proposition in Complimenting, and you thank heavens for being hit. You hit me or I hit on you, it’s a win-win situation either way. God bless the one who innovated ‘free hit’ !!

  As a fast bowler, one is entrusted with the responsibility of making the first strike into the enemy territory. But that duty which many would like to fancy comes with risks to the tune of Black Hawk Down. Same is the case with complimenting, you just go and bowl, mindfully forgetting the reputation of the batsman because it’s the delivery that claims the wicket not the bowler and it’s the wicket that goes down not the batsman. Having said that you would always like to question that why is there is there a bowling limit or the whole hoopla of T-20. I mean, there is a seductive pleasure to be derived from slowly making inroads into enemy territory and all of a sudden catching them by surprise than the game of Suicide-Suicide and see who blows themselves first.

  Fast bowling takes a toll over your body as excessive complimenting takes on your reputation. Thus, train so hard, so that you can bowl every next over and that too only because you don’t want too much of you and still be noticed. In line with the way our minds work, the things that are consistently in front of us go un-noticed and the ones whose frequency is the least is covered in General Knowledge/Current Events like Haley’s Comet, which comes every 76 years.

  It’s not only that you bowl well and its done, the wing-man/fielder has to do his bit. Messing up with the batsman’s mind by sledging (read commenting beyond approval) has been a successful trick since times immemorial. Thus, more than anything else, keep on doing stuff which would make the batsman throw his wicket in disgust like showing the middle finger in place of the index after claiming the victim or making an L which could mean ‘Love’ on this sticky wicket that Complimenting is. It might cost you dear or a dear someone if you take this approach but who wants the match fee or that someone who can’t handle the beamer which was meant to be a bouncer !!

 
Another mantra of becoming a good fast bowler is to pick your batsman.Don’t get fascinated by very tall ones who may look even better in high heels, they are the tail-enders by habit. The good batsman can be established by their looks, they are not very tall and of medium build, plays by the book and every shot in the book thereby making it tough to bowl. So are some women, easy to find (you can spot them in a crowd equally pretty friends) but hard to get.

  The big shots or the big shot hitter aka master blasters of this game, a 10 on 10 if we round off. 10 to the perfection of their jersey number. What makes these perfect 10’s what they are that they take they take 7’s after multiple rounding up as seriously as a 10, with due respect and this is what gives you the motivation to bend your back, beyond the spine can and reciprocate the gesture.

   Practice makes a man perfect & thus what is expected of batting maestro’s is to gracefully block the delivery/ dialogue with a ‘Not Good Enough’ rather than taking offence of the endeavour to go past their defence. ‘Block’ as in cricketing shot and not its literal meaning, by closing all channels of communication.

   When you get them, they will act disgusted, throw their bat in frustration and might even hate you but you know they will question themselves once in admiration about how did you go past that wall of defence.

   Too much in making a case of legitimising this abnormal complimenting. The million dollar IPL contract question is “Why should a legend pay heed to your compliment/request for net practice & why not prefer playing the taller, muscular looking friend for a knock?”. This predicament complicates itself with hordes lining up in Compliment-ary !! I mean why on earth would anyone compliment a girl with a cliché like ‘Beautiful’. Given the liberty and luxury, every woman would prefer being associated with things unique, ironically they shed their trait when it comes to ‘Compli’  .  Like in fast bowling, its never about how fast, all that matters is a lot of things like rhythm, pace, bounce, swing etc. Thus, it should not matter who wrote the cliché/compli first but sadly it does.  

  One of theory that has always been quoted in self-defence of even flirts is that it boosts up the confidence of the subject and thus is a noble thing and should be done on purpose, frequently. Thus , right to equality upholds that the poor cousin of flirting i.e. Complimenting be also seen in the same light and the convict be allowed a free run as its not even a crime, even if it is, consider the culprit as Juvenile.

  The thought that playing along with just about any bowler/admirer will ruin your game is misplaced. If this is how the big shots keep thinking, how would the promising ones, willing to keep their word, even the unsaid ones, ever get a chance ??

  This might qualify as foul play/pleading you case to the extent of drawing sympathy. Drawing parallels & pushing it off a work of geometry, but aren’t rules meant to be mended(too many of em) ??

   Its not an individual’s petition and probably a PIL. Thus, the writer should not be held accountable for things said in general/gender-neutral for the people. But, can assure of changing the game or the way he plays it. It’s the game that matters, no matter even if you have to be the wingman !!

Happy Complimenting: D