Mid-Night Mishap !!

    Its that part of the year when we make resolutions but people like me do not. Why?, because my resolution for the past 10 years did not come true and its an apologetic ‘ I’ll make a girlfriend !’, but could never make it. I am so bored with making the same resolution every year that New Year seems to be nothing more than a change of calendar and since the past few years even that has stopped, all thanks to technological advancement.

 Mishaps happen on cold Delhi nights and one happened with me two days back. ( No !, you wrong shit-head, I am still as pure as Ganga in the upper reaches of Himalyas). But yes, men are menace !, On-road or On-Line. The second type covers themselves up behind a nice profile and are out there to trouble somebody else’s sister, wife or girlfriend. The irony being that you don’t know that you have committed a crime till you are informed. I mean how does one know if somebody is not friends with one’s own sister and that silly is your friend. In my own defence, “It was late in the night, I was home and in the control of a lot of cofee, when I saw the same red light blink as the time when i became friends with that model. But now that the model has deactivated her account somebody from the fairer sex had to be roped and hence began my requests to whosoever I had any connection with. Besides that,being Un-friended (the word is catch up !) by a Girl has a lasting impact on your psyche, leaving a void in  Friend List which can be filled by as many girls as you can(there is no too-much for good things !).  This notification was from a DU girl who had understood what meant to say in an update and put a LIKE. That sprang me into action and I sent a request as I always do which are mostly unaccepted. But it does not end at that, this time it got even more embarrassing (but I am unmoved !) when the recipient turned out to b a friend’s Sister & reverted back addressing me as ‘Bro’ and expressing her inability to accept my request. Not to be marginalized in this favourite blinder of Indian Women, I grabbed the opportunity of being brothers with her saying that A Bro’s Sis is always a Sis (though, with a heavy heart !) and is mathematical corollary of ‘Parallel Theorem of Friendship’(where a friends friend is not only mutual friend, is actually a friend !) and a destroyer of an ancient vow of not being brothers with any pretty girl/woman.

   The fact that the friend camouflaged here turned out to be a friend in deed as he had said good and nice about my writing which this secret sibling of mine did not forget to mention . This kind of event is new for me as most of the times my friends label me as someone who makes unnecessary noise (read blogs !). Though, I love the way world has become a small place and you can reach anybody from the comfort of your quilt but not like this. Sorry Bro !, you said good and nice about me but I would take it as adversity reaching everywhere I want to go and before I reach, guess adversity has GPS enabled device and is tracking me, one step before I take it.

  Trumped in my own game as I was, one of the thoughts that came to my mind was to type with the left hand only. And why not, the night was ruined!  and I was very sure that she might pull a hand out of the laptop and tie a Rakhi on my right hand. All kind of depressing thoughts started coming to my mind and I started cursing Indian women. One of them was about their seeing things in Black and White only though they wear all variety of colours with panache but when it comes to realationships, it fades into B&W. They see only in Black & White, leaving all other shades of Wheatish (meant literally only !) . Its like they view it through the prism of suspicion and every guy who is not your boyfriend is a brother material. This prism can be deemed racist with the boyfriend material being Tall ,Fair & Hunk and ignorant of the fact that the original saying prescribes Tall,Dark & Handsome. The fairly-tale world of women makes them live in this illusion that they can find this guy and he will dig for them as well as if she is the only girl. So what are we left with as an eligible and sensible qualification (e.g. Tall,Dark & Handsome), may be ‘any two of the three’ and two only is fairly good enough to qualify most of us and the rest be damned (I don’t care !).

 We had a little more conversation where she praised my work and I reverted with all the impressions of a would be writer. I found a sister and this also happens on cold Delhi mid-nights when you are home and have a lot to do but you don’t feel like. The city has and winters have been in news for wrong, it gave me huge satisfaction that the coffee kept me from not acting like a jerk. HNY :-)

Being Stereotypical Yet Unpredictable !!

   It feels so nice when close friends point out my over-enthusiastic activity on the social network and the gradually compressing social life. A part of me identifies with their concern and an even larger part , says " Baah !!". The fact that most of the world does not understand what I want to say is a big drag. And their understanding what I have not said, even bigger. So why do I or anybody else who are out there, being on their own, feel like making a port call by throwing anchors. The fact is and still remains that every ship would like to be assured of the existence of safe anchors or that it has company, no matter how high seas it has been or the number of storms survived . The reminders act as an anchor and the sail at the same time, keeping me from crossing the horizon into high seas and showing direction as well . But theses chains do not seem to be strong enough to stop me and probably rusted because of its presence since times immemorial.Moreover,this ship has sailed into unknown and unfriendly waters and i see many regretting my courses but still wishing me luck, now that i have sailed. I might be referring things in my life which i see from my frame of reference and i am supposed to do justice to my point of view. The other side of the story could be different, entirely different !. Could be that i did not move at all and the world moved or both of us moved in opposite direction. But one thing stands true in all observation, the differences and distance has increased.

  But then its like a cautious kid in love with its kite not letting it traverse into the unknown sky and thus is conservative in loosening up the string. And why not ! 'No Strings Attached' is only a fad and is doomed to crash. One might have a flight of freedom but after a while you shall and you will crash. Crash you will,because there are social conventions, the rules which have been agreed upon to be followed and more importantly imposed. Though it doesn't mind spreading its arms and flexing its muscles every time you want to do something, there is some social law or the other that you might be breaking. Though innumerable, these laws can be summarized  into 'Follow the conventions and be Conservative & Orthodox' . These conventions and rituals act as signposts for our blindfolded eyes,providing a narrow and safe journey to our destinations. The other option is taking the cross country track, which might be surprisingly short if you trail the diagonal or you might get struck on this off-road adventure. The reason for not many opting for the option is that they think, its meant for the big boyz toyz  and they are fine with running the marathon. Losing in the Marathon is such a face saver that it keeps us from participating in races. So what if we lost, its a marathon where everybody loses and since somebody has to win,somebody wins and we don't care !.What they do miss-out is that the off-road format is democratic as it favours the men than the machine. Evolution of society has led to formation of rules and conventions which always favour the faster on the highway but do the un-conventional and the next thing you know is that their 4*4 is struck in mud. So while you want to control the kite so bad it wants to break apart even bad and live a no strings attached relationship with you, no matter how short it is and what it is destined to. The threat of braking apart becomes stronger in this weather when the wind starts picking up, threatening to tear away the kite if  its not allowed to fly freely. The kite looks strong and uncontrollable as long as an end is still with a handler. Probably the best way is to let it have its flight uninterrupted in a limited area. The over-cautious care and hence the thought to bring it down from heights (OR high !...whichever you like), is not required. It learnt to brave the winds and ride on them, its inbuilt in his design.

  But why do some of us ( and that refers to the one and only me! ),take up this course against the tide. Probably because 'Opposites Attract' theory help in attracting the opposites (both literally and figuratively) as the Fish-catch is more against the flow. A strange attraction is associated with the things which are not commonplace. The things which we do not understand the types which are branded mysterious,artistic or just different from the way it should be. Actin exactly opposite the way you should makes you so desirable. But it does not stop at that, you go a step ahead and shatter it to bring in the element, pretending to be out of out of the box and unconventional yet in control of the situation, knowing exactly what you are doing.

 Before you  find it 'gibberish' as my updates and rubbish it under the carpet, let me tell you the above philosophy is in practice and preached in marketing echelons as 'Social Media Marketing'.(its another thing their content is far superior but yes,the concept is the same. !). So while our society always had this addictive social behavior, its Social Network adaptation has been compared and branded blasphemous. The government is trying to rein in out-pour on social network ,but the bigger problem is  'how to book Bengali's for doing 'Adda' ( its a 'Sit n Talk' !, in practice much before Cafe Coffee day was even born ) or for that matter the punjabi love for bragging. And mobilizing an opinion requires improvising. Improvising, the easiest way to get better than the original with no danger of being rejected summarily. An even more successful is impersonation where you just copy and paste somebody elses thoughts or work and acting as the middlemen, thereby making the highest percentage of profits. The whole FDI/Telecom Pricing debate is about this, the right of the middleman to make unhealthy profit or the messenger underplaying the message. Impersonation is something which keeps our system going where we need suitable candidates and not competent ones to run the system. The impersonators run the system, don't do it in studies and you are doomed because the 'definables' are already defined and you are not supposed to deviate from it . Don't wear fake brands and you don't make an impression as 'making a second impression' happens only in quotes and most of the time we end up ridiculing and embarrassing ourselves in public while attempting it. The argument in favour being 'Why be youself when you can be somebody else and somebody can be anybody !'. The intelligent ones or the geniuses be damned,who wants them !. They are injurious to the health of system, a sleepercell of rebellion, a spanner in the moving wheel , the ones who would recommend  major changes and destabilize the current arrangement. instability to the system. 

Man is a social animal who has lately started living in the zoo called 'Social Network' and needs to mark its territory consistently and sometimes encroach into others as well and accept it or not, every LIKE you put or share you hit is a manifestation of this animal instinct. The animal instinct should be given way to express itself from time to time, be it economy or social behaviour or else it leads to stagflation. Economics and Social Behaviour agree more , 'activity is what counts, some will gain for you some will lose but do not try and regulate things artificially,this will most likely create a bubble which will burst someday. Taking about burst, your mind may if I make it any longer. So before it does, cool it of by venting all you have in you head, and I know you have, everybody has !! Happy Expressng :-)